


Crapulous

by cutsycat



Series: Dictionary.Com Word of the Day Drabbles [470]
Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-03 22:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10259660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutsycat/pseuds/cutsycat
Summary: Gibbs is not a relationship counselor, but some people (ahem... Tony and Tobias) just don't know how to stay away from his basement.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Another dictionary.com word of the day drabble. This time from 08/14/2000 for the word [crapulous](http://www.dictionary.com/wordoftheday/2000/08/14/crapulous).
> 
> crapulous  
> given to or characterized by gross excess in drinking or eating.  
> suffering from or due to such excess.
> 
> This is a bonus drabble(not one of the three I post a day) for Brent Dever who prompted me through the anonymous prompt option below. Please feel free to prompt me on AO3(preferrably) or anonymously if you have to, if you would like me to write something based on a prompt you gave me. 
> 
> This is the third of four prompts he gave me. I will be getting to the other one as well later on. I hope he enjoys it.
> 
> **Prompt:**
> 
> Tobias wants tony, tony wants Tobias but they don’t know they want each other. Gibbs helps out
> 
> **End Prompt**
> 
> As always comments, kudos, and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated. 
> 
> Prompts are open. More information is available at the end of the work if you want to prompt me yourself.

# 

Crapulous

Gibbs was beginning to feel like his basement had a revolving door. If it wasn’t DiNozzo sitting on his step telling him about his woes, Fornell was storming down the steps grumbling about his own woes. At first, DiNozzo only told him about how the hard cases affected him, but as their friendship deepened, hints of Tony’s frustrations with his romantic relationships or lack thereof crept in too. 

Ever since Fornell had married his ex-wife, Fornell had decided that they had relationship woes in common and would constantly come over and complain about Diane or any other relationships he happened to have. It was rarer that Fornell would share tough cases. Generally, they’d just get drunk as both of them were rather crapulous. No talking would occur if Fornell had a tough case as he never wanted to dwell on what happened. He only wanted to forget.

Still, he didn’t think anything of either Fornell or DiNozzo beyond friendship and figured that if talking it out with him helped them even a little that it was worth it. Sometimes he’d open up a little with either of them, but he still wasn’t comfortable with that kind of personal sharing. He’d always kept things close to his chest and didn’t see the point in changing that.

He’d tried for three different women after Shannon and had failed each time. He had no desire to repeat it again. He was happy to continue building his boats and generally being crapulous at home while working at NCIS without any romantic entanglements.

What he’d never expected was to somehow end up a relationship counselor. He couldn’t remember if it was Fornell or DiNozzo who first confessed to him. Probably DiNozzo, Tony had been coming over more frequently as of late. 

He thought it was Tony who had first confessed to finding Fornell attractive despite him being a feebie. He didn’t react to this information. He never really cared who his agents loved so long as they did their jobs and continued to work for him.

Gibbs thought that was probably the turning point for him. Every time they had a case that intersected with the FBI, Tony would be over talking about how Fornell looked in his suit. He wouldn’t stop there though. He’d go on and on about Fornell’s personality or some joke Fornell played on him or really anything else Fornell related. It was starting to drive Gibbs crazy and he sought the bottle more and more.

If that wasn’t bad enough, Fornell too started telling Gibbs how attracted to DiNozzo he was. It was even more disturbing coming from Fornell. If Gibbs never heard the words “I’d tap that if I thought I had a chance” again, it would be too soon. Between the two of them Gibbs nights were becoming more and more crapulous.

Gibbs had had enough of the pining and the over descriptive declarations of love. He badly wanted to knock their two heads together until they both realized the other felt the same way about them. They both seemed convinced that the other one didn’t feel the same way and Gibbs was contemplating drastic measures.

He just hadn’t figured out how to get the two of them together in a way that they couldn’t possibly mess up, yet. He’d toyed with the idea of just making reservations for the two of them at a restaurant, but he was pretty sure whoever arrived second would run away at the sight of the other one. He’d considered talking DiNozzo into going to the movies with him and dragging Fornell along and then just vanishing on the two of them part way through the movie, but he wasn’t sure that would work either.

Before he could figure out a good plan, Fornell showed up at his house while Tony was there watching him work on his boat. Fornell quickly tried to backtrack, but Gibbs had had quite enough of this. “Fornell, get your ass down here.” Gibbs yelled.

Fornell sheepishly poked his head through the doorway. “Hey, Jethro, DiNutzo.”

Gibbs glanced back and forth between the two men and shook his head sadly. He wished he were drunk for this. “Let’s just get this over with. Tony, Fornell likes your ass and in his words 'would tap that' if you showed any sign of interest.” 

Fornell started spluttering. He’d never expected Gibbs to reveal something he’d said in confidence.

“And Fornell, Tony has been mooning over your eyes and suits. Though I think he wants to tempt you into one of his suits instead. Now, shoo. I have work to do.” Gibbs waved them off and turned back to his boat and crapulous habits. He really needed the bourbon after dealing with those two idiots for so long. He just hoped that this resolved it and he didn’t have to play relationship counselor anymore.

Tobias and Tony exchanged blushing looks, but clasped hands and walked out of Gibbs' basement. They both started, “Is it true?” and then laughed as they tried to ask each other the same question. 

Finally, Tony manned up and murmured, “Yeah, what Gibbs said is true.” 

Tobias smiled at Tony. “Embarrassing as it was, he quoted me almost word for word, as well.” 

“What do you say we go have dinner somewhere?” Tony suggested with a wink and a leer, feeling more confident now that he knew Tobias also returned his feelings.

“I think that sounds like a great plan.” Fornell happily agreed. It looked like Tony might return his affections, after all. This night was looking up.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts are currently open. If you'd like to prompt me, please do so [here](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/NCIS_Prompts_2017/profile). Note you have to be an ao3 member to do this. 
> 
> If you are not an ao3 member, you can prompt me [here](http://cutsycat.livejournal.com/50701.html). Please follow the same rules as are listed in the above link. However, because this is a handmade prompt form(that thinks it's a poll), it is considerably more limited than what ao3 provides, so please use the ao3 form if you're an ao3 member. Please note the name option is for a name that I can say this is for so that you know it's for you. Since this is for non ao3 members it won't be true gifts, but you will be mentioned in the notes.
> 
> This is a new thing I'm trying, so please leave feedback here if you think it could be improved.


End file.
